Friday, June 05, 2009

Unacceptable Movie Endings

1. Rubber mask that's indistinguishable from a real human face
2. Aliens
3. It was all just a dream
4. Multiple personalities
5. Everyone suddenly gets a girlfriend/boyfriend in the last five minutes of the movie (even the dog, monkey, hamster, etc.)

Monday, July 21, 2008

Inventions That We Ought to Have in the Future

1. Electric Pajamas
2. One-wheeled car ("unicar")
3. Invisible chairs
4. Non-stick Honey
5. Dehydrated clothes
6. Death Ray
7. New letter in the alphabet to replace -tion
8. Vomit diaper
9. CoolMint Doritos

Monday, March 10, 2008

Worst titles for a blog about a semester in Spain.

1. The Jane in Spain Stays Mainly on the Plain (really only works if the blogger's name is Jane)

2. Spain't got nobody but you.

3. Growing Spains (this one could have a theme song though)

4. A Year of Living Spaingerously

Monday, January 14, 2008

Things I learned in 2007

1. If you're someone who keeps several varieties of pasta around, and you find yourself down to a half serving of two different kinds, and you want to eat pasta that night, and you decide to use up both in one meal, you should cook them separately and not try to cook them in the same pot at the same time. Because macaroni and tricolor fusilli cook at different rates.

2. Who William Randolph Hearst is.

3. There were probably a bunch of other things that I learned too.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Things about Salt Lake

That I will miss, if I really move to Arizona

1. Family/Friends
2. Cold
3. Snow
4. Pioneer Day
5. Fry Sauce and Pastrami Burgers
6. Liberty Park
7. The Broadway Theatre
8. The "Nu-Crisp" popcorn sign in Sugarhouse
9. SWAB lunches
10. Being far away enough from Las Vegas
11. Gallivan Center
12. The ridiculous southbound I-15 billboards

That I won't miss, if I really move to Arizona

1. People who I don't like
2. Too much cold
3. Too much snow
4. Being so far from Mexico
5. Running in pants and fleece instead of shorts
6. Inversion
7. Orrin Hatch

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Things in my house that I don't need more of.

free t-shirts
varieties of mustard
leftover dehydrated food from work
radiohead posters
wilco posters
shoes that I don't wear
box elder bugs
books that I am not currently reading
dryer lint
doors that don't close all the way

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Things that the DaVinci Code (movie) had in overabundance

1. naked Silas
2. Langdon (Tom Hanks) squinting
3. people being astonished
4. movie
5. one-liners from Magneto
6. CSI-type cross-sectional views of things
7. flashbacks
8. producers*
9. chevrons (the symbol, not the gas station)

*seriously, it was like:

some-such entertainment... association with...

...something media...


...a such and such film...