Why today was way scarier than Halloween

1. I woke up at 7:15 am. There was a tarantula on my wall. A real one.
2. I ate breakfast at 7:30. I could hear my roommate listening to Rush Limbaugh.
3. I had a test in this class today.
4. Not only does Smith's have Kristmas Krap for sale already, there were no cranberries. So it has finally happened. Christmas has eaten Thanksgiving.
5. I was getting ready for bed tonight around midnight. I could hear my roommate listening to Rush Limbaugh.